I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
