Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
