Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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