he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
