Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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