i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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