Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
