My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
