did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
