Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
