nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
