Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
