Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
