Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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