Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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