Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
my poor anus
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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