what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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