Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
