Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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