just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
