All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
