Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
