were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
