As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
