Betty ford says i'm here all night
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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