You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
