yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
