We're facebook friends in real life
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
