That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
