From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You may now shotgun with the bride
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
