dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
