you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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