Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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