3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
