I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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