More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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