He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
is it fun? or sober?
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