your room smells of hookers.
And success
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
