Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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