Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
A+ Viking dick
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
