I hate your face
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
