right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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