At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
What a dumb baby whore.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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