girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
