Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
