they need to just BURY HIM!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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