i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
