i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
