even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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