went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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