I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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