I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
