at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
