Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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